So we're six months into our adventure as parents and I don't think we have messed Wyatt up thus far! He is growing and learning new things everyday! I can't believe it was just a short six months ago he was born! Time flys when you're having fun.
I've learned a lot about motherhood. First of all, I feel very blessed to be a mom. I know it is the mind frame of a lot of people that I or you are "just a mom" which I think is such a degrading statement! Being a mother is one of the greatest missions we are able to serve in a women! We are influencing nations as mothers! Its awesome!
I remember back in the first year Josh and I were married everyone saying "wait to have kids" and usually the people saying them and three to five children themselves. That was also followed by "aww you're still in your honeymoon stage, enjoy it while it lasts." (which really ruffled my feathers but that's another topic for another day!) This was to annoying! They made is sound like having children was a burden. This bugged me because the Lord wants us to be parents and raise families. Often times I wanted to ask those people, which one of your children would you send back?
Don't get me wrong I only have one child and I realize the great sacrifice that I have made. It's not easy. But I never want to feel he wasn't worth it or make him feel that he wasn't worth it.
And then after you have a kid everyone says "enjoy them while they're young, they grow so fast." How about this. Enjoy every day, or every phase of life you pass through and then have no regrets.
Sorry this is more of a rant then an update but I just wanted all the young married couples to know that kids don't ruin your life they just change it but it's all worth it!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
How we went from two to three
My first child! What an adventure! From pregnancy to birth to currently 2 months old! I have loved every minute of it! Even the middle of the night feedings.
These past few months have been difficult for me in the sense of the birth of my son resulting in a c-section which was extremely disappointing to me. At least until this morning.
Beginning of last year as many of you know I had a miscarriage resulting in a partial molar pregnancy. Which means the baby was deformed and in lack of a better term was kind of like cancer to me. After I had an D&C, I had to continue every 2 weeks for blood work to make sure this form of "cancer" hadn't spread through my body. They check your blood to make sure your HCG levels return to normal. If the levels rise you have to do chemo and all that jazz.
After about a month or so my levels returned to normal. When I knew they were going down I wanted to get pregnant again pretty much asap. I prayed daily and felt that it was the right thing to do. So I was stoked when the OB nurse called me and told me my HCG levels had returned to normal and that instead of every 2 weeks I needed to come in every month for 6 months.
I asked the nurse, "If I am negative I'm in the clear right?" she said no and that they could rise again. This however didn't make sense to me. How could my body "hide" the cancer? She fumbled around for an answer that didn't make sense and only made me frustrated. She could tell I was frustrated when we hung up the phone.
She must have relayed this to my OB because he called me about an hour later. I asked him the same thing and pretty much he just wants to make sure that nothing is going on. So I bargained with him and said 4 months. I'll wait 4 months. He seemed happy with this and so I would continue getting my blood checked. Except I believe in my Heavenly Father a lot more than I do science a month later I was pregnant!
I switched over to a midwife in his clinic which had been my plan in the first place. She knew that I was "supposed" to wait. I called to let them know I was pregnant and I needed to know what they wanted me to do next. Her nurse called me back and asked "so what happened?" =) Really? After assuring myself she didn't need to know the "birds and the bees" I again told her I was pregnant.
So, they checked my blood after so many weeks of pregnancy and my HCG levels were right where they should be! I was pregnant and happy!
At about 6 months I dragged my husband to Hypno Birthing class! I was doing this thing natural! I was pumped! I did so much research on it and asked my mom a million questions! She had done this natural a time or five! One of my dearest friends turned me onto Hypnobirthing! So one night a week for 3 hours we went to Hypnobirthing class for 4 weeks. My husband was a trooper he'd get back from a trip and come straight to class with me! I LOVE THAT MAN!
When I first told him that I wanted to do it naturally he looked at me and said "Why won't you just do it the normal way?" Boy was he in for a surprise! Needless to say I made a believer out of him! Originally I tried to convince him to let me do it at home but that was pushing it.
When we weren't at class I was reading their book or listening to their cds. Josh would get home from work and we would practice breathing, relaxing and relying on each other to get through this with a relaxed and happy attitude! We did this almost daily for the last 3 months of my pregnancy.
I would say about three or four weeks before my due date I had a dream. I was seeing this outside of myself. I was lying in a Hospital bed sitting up and Josh handed me our son.
That was it. A simple scene. When I woke up I thought about it. I thought, now if I gave birth to him naturally my midwife would put him on my tummy. Why would Josh be handing him to me? As I thought about it the thought came to me. I wonder if I'll have to have a c-section?
I kept this to myself for about a week. I kept thinking about it and wondering if that's what it really meant. When I finally did tell Josh I told him I was going to research c-sections because of this dream I had. He thought that was a good idea.
Three days after my due date and about 10 minutes before my mom showed up I went into labor. I wondered previously how I could tell if I was really in labor or not. There was no question about it, I knew!
They came on hard and strong which I wasn't expecting because everyone said they would gradually get stronger. But these puppies were hitting me hard! But I didn't care I was prepared and eager to take em on! I sat and breathed in the beginning but then I just walked. Josh and I walked around our neighborhood stopping with each contraction. We timed how long in between and how long they lasted. We came back home and I walked around the house. My mom finally went to bed which she readily deserved after driving from Texas!
Josh and I labored through each one together. After about five or more hours I started to shake. The only time I didn't shake was when I was contracting which made the contractions almost welcomed. The hard thing about it all was I could not catch a break. I tried relaxing in between contractions but my body shook so much I couldn't relax and when the contractions came on I was breathing through those. Josh made a warm bath for me which helped a lot. After seeing they were getting to be about 5 minutes apart Josh suggested we leave for the hospital. I had labored 10 hours at home! And I was exhausted but ready!
We drove to the hospital and checked in. They put me into the triage room and we waited for the nurse to check me. I was so tired. I expressed to Josh that maybe an epidural wouldn't be so bad. ( That was the bad part about being there, the temptation to get an epidural) My husband took my hand and looked me in the eye he said "Brittney, you told me that if you asked for an epidural to remind you how badly you wanted to do this naturally." Oh ya.
My nurse came in and checked me and announced I was at a 6. Yay me! She was awesome. She told me she had all her babies natural and that I could do it!
After my moment of weakness passed I continued on. My midwife was called and about an hour later I was at a nine and half! I was so happy! I was smiling and laughing and ready to push this baby boy out!
She broke my water and we waited to progress. I tried moving around to push things a long. But I felt no overwhelming urge to push. She checked me I was fully effaced and dialated. There was nothing. I tried pushing when I felt a contraction. Nothing. She said that usually this means the baby is posterior and something is blocking him because he is not coming down.
She tried pushing the lip of my cervix down while I pushed. Nothing. The contractions were becoming way more painful than they had been throughout my whole labor. She checked me. I was an 8. I was swelling and going backwards.
Time to face the music. She said she would call Dr. Nielson and maybe he could turn the baby. She explained he would have to put his hand around the babies head to try and turn him. My thought, "a man is going to put his man sized hand inside me and turn my already stubborn son." ow. I asked my midwife if he couldn't do it what my options would be. She said a c-section. She didn't tell me the 'we can wait and see what happens' option but I knew I could make that decision. I wasn't going to let them blindly roll me into a c-sec. It was my choice. So, it was going to hurt like hell for him to TRY and turn him and pretty much if that didn't work I could opt for a c-section.
The contractions were becoming incredibly unbearable. My body was trying to bring down my baby but because he was somehow stuck and I was swelling it just got increasingly more painful. Not seeing the point in continuing on like I was I asked for an epidural. She checked me again, 5 cm. I decided either way my body wasn't going to unswell. If the Doc couldn't do it I would have a c-section. So I asked for an epidural.
I had run my race. I had tried my hardest. I had labored all the way there only to find out my son was not wanting to come out that way. I cried. My mom was incredibly supportive of me. I had wanted to make her proud. I wanted to be just like her. But it was out of my hands. She knew this and cried with me. She knew how badly I wanted this. I am so grateful for her being there and struggling with me. I know she hated to see me suffering at the end.
My midwife came back and had relayed everything to the OB and because I had swollen so much that he wouldn't be able to fit his hand in to turn him. We opted for a c-sec.
My husband gave me a blessing and we knew everything was going to turn out okay.
Throughout this time I still shook uncontrollably. When the anesthsiologist came in I asked if the epidural would stop the shaking? He said no and that it would probably make it worse. He gave me an epidural which helped with the pain but there was still a uncomfortable pressure with each contraction. He was right I shook even more violently. About an hour later he came in to give me a spinal block for the surgery. I asked if this would stop the shaking he gave me the same answer.
I hugged and kissed my mom goodbye as they wheeled me away into the O.R. I looked like I was having seizures according to my husband. I was shaking so badly I could barley talk. I was so tired. On top of that I felt nauseated. I had seen countless c-sections on dogs and for some reason having it done on myself made me feel ill.
My anesthesiologist was a life savor though! Rubbing alcohol! Made me feel so much better with the nausea. I wish I could have thanked him for being so nice and talking to me while I waited for my husband to join me.
When Josh finally did join me, he held my hand and soothed me and comforted me. I never knew a better man than that one that sat next to me in surgery. At that moment I prayed my son would be exactly like his father. In those moments together before our son was born I felt more in love with him than I had the ever before. We were partners through the whole thing and there is nothing more reassuring than having my best friend and husband beside me the whole time.
It was a weird feeling the tugging and pulling sensation throughout the surgery. I hated it. I hated being there. The only consoling thing besides my husband was I was going to see my son in a matter of moments!
And then he cried! I heard him cry then I cried then my husband cried! He cried before they had even pulled him out of the womb!
8:30 a.m Wyatt Newton McReavy was born! A healthy seven pounder! What relief! Josh was able to watch them clean him up and was able to hold him as they stitched me up.
I was wheeled into the recovery room and as soon as I made sure I wasn't going to give him shaken baby syndrome with my uncontrollable shaking I held him and nursed him. Priceless. It was all worth it.
My O.B informed me I had done all three in one labor! Meaning I labored naturally, experienced and epidural and had a c-section. I guess I should feel accomplished. =)
After all was said and done. I still felt disappointed. I ask myself "what if this or what if that." But this morning I sat staring at my perfect, healthy baby thinking over all the events that happened I remembered that dream. I remembered that dream that the Lord gave me, the inspiration to be ready for a c-section. The tools to know to have a c-section or not. I made the decision to have a c-section because I was prepared to make that choice. Maybe if I had tried all those "what if's" it would have turned out differently. Maybe it would have turned out the way I had originally wanted it to or maybe it would have turned into and emergency c-section causing even more traumatic results. All I know is I am grateful so incredibly grateful to my Heavenly Father for communicating with me and inspiring me. He knew. He saw the "what if's" and he knew how to help me make the right decision.
So now I bare a scar across my lower abdomen. I am proud of that scar! What a story behind it! I don't regret anything about that experience. I had a wonderful support system of my husband who was the best coach/doula I could have ever asked for! He was my rock and support through it all and continues to be so! He was compassionate and sensitive to my every need. My mom! My hero! My mother who loved and supported me! Words cannot express my love and admiration for her. I feel there were moments in that room that only she and I could understand.
Will I try to have a natural child birth again? My first initial response is "Heck Yes I'll try again!" But then again maybe I'll council with my Heavenly Father before I make a final decision.
These past few months have been difficult for me in the sense of the birth of my son resulting in a c-section which was extremely disappointing to me. At least until this morning.
Beginning of last year as many of you know I had a miscarriage resulting in a partial molar pregnancy. Which means the baby was deformed and in lack of a better term was kind of like cancer to me. After I had an D&C, I had to continue every 2 weeks for blood work to make sure this form of "cancer" hadn't spread through my body. They check your blood to make sure your HCG levels return to normal. If the levels rise you have to do chemo and all that jazz.
After about a month or so my levels returned to normal. When I knew they were going down I wanted to get pregnant again pretty much asap. I prayed daily and felt that it was the right thing to do. So I was stoked when the OB nurse called me and told me my HCG levels had returned to normal and that instead of every 2 weeks I needed to come in every month for 6 months.
I asked the nurse, "If I am negative I'm in the clear right?" she said no and that they could rise again. This however didn't make sense to me. How could my body "hide" the cancer? She fumbled around for an answer that didn't make sense and only made me frustrated. She could tell I was frustrated when we hung up the phone.
She must have relayed this to my OB because he called me about an hour later. I asked him the same thing and pretty much he just wants to make sure that nothing is going on. So I bargained with him and said 4 months. I'll wait 4 months. He seemed happy with this and so I would continue getting my blood checked. Except I believe in my Heavenly Father a lot more than I do science a month later I was pregnant!
I switched over to a midwife in his clinic which had been my plan in the first place. She knew that I was "supposed" to wait. I called to let them know I was pregnant and I needed to know what they wanted me to do next. Her nurse called me back and asked "so what happened?" =) Really? After assuring myself she didn't need to know the "birds and the bees" I again told her I was pregnant.
So, they checked my blood after so many weeks of pregnancy and my HCG levels were right where they should be! I was pregnant and happy!
At about 6 months I dragged my husband to Hypno Birthing class! I was doing this thing natural! I was pumped! I did so much research on it and asked my mom a million questions! She had done this natural a time or five! One of my dearest friends turned me onto Hypnobirthing! So one night a week for 3 hours we went to Hypnobirthing class for 4 weeks. My husband was a trooper he'd get back from a trip and come straight to class with me! I LOVE THAT MAN!
When I first told him that I wanted to do it naturally he looked at me and said "Why won't you just do it the normal way?" Boy was he in for a surprise! Needless to say I made a believer out of him! Originally I tried to convince him to let me do it at home but that was pushing it.
When we weren't at class I was reading their book or listening to their cds. Josh would get home from work and we would practice breathing, relaxing and relying on each other to get through this with a relaxed and happy attitude! We did this almost daily for the last 3 months of my pregnancy.
I would say about three or four weeks before my due date I had a dream. I was seeing this outside of myself. I was lying in a Hospital bed sitting up and Josh handed me our son.
That was it. A simple scene. When I woke up I thought about it. I thought, now if I gave birth to him naturally my midwife would put him on my tummy. Why would Josh be handing him to me? As I thought about it the thought came to me. I wonder if I'll have to have a c-section?
I kept this to myself for about a week. I kept thinking about it and wondering if that's what it really meant. When I finally did tell Josh I told him I was going to research c-sections because of this dream I had. He thought that was a good idea.
Three days after my due date and about 10 minutes before my mom showed up I went into labor. I wondered previously how I could tell if I was really in labor or not. There was no question about it, I knew!
They came on hard and strong which I wasn't expecting because everyone said they would gradually get stronger. But these puppies were hitting me hard! But I didn't care I was prepared and eager to take em on! I sat and breathed in the beginning but then I just walked. Josh and I walked around our neighborhood stopping with each contraction. We timed how long in between and how long they lasted. We came back home and I walked around the house. My mom finally went to bed which she readily deserved after driving from Texas!
Josh and I labored through each one together. After about five or more hours I started to shake. The only time I didn't shake was when I was contracting which made the contractions almost welcomed. The hard thing about it all was I could not catch a break. I tried relaxing in between contractions but my body shook so much I couldn't relax and when the contractions came on I was breathing through those. Josh made a warm bath for me which helped a lot. After seeing they were getting to be about 5 minutes apart Josh suggested we leave for the hospital. I had labored 10 hours at home! And I was exhausted but ready!
We drove to the hospital and checked in. They put me into the triage room and we waited for the nurse to check me. I was so tired. I expressed to Josh that maybe an epidural wouldn't be so bad. ( That was the bad part about being there, the temptation to get an epidural) My husband took my hand and looked me in the eye he said "Brittney, you told me that if you asked for an epidural to remind you how badly you wanted to do this naturally." Oh ya.
My nurse came in and checked me and announced I was at a 6. Yay me! She was awesome. She told me she had all her babies natural and that I could do it!
After my moment of weakness passed I continued on. My midwife was called and about an hour later I was at a nine and half! I was so happy! I was smiling and laughing and ready to push this baby boy out!
She broke my water and we waited to progress. I tried moving around to push things a long. But I felt no overwhelming urge to push. She checked me I was fully effaced and dialated. There was nothing. I tried pushing when I felt a contraction. Nothing. She said that usually this means the baby is posterior and something is blocking him because he is not coming down.
She tried pushing the lip of my cervix down while I pushed. Nothing. The contractions were becoming way more painful than they had been throughout my whole labor. She checked me. I was an 8. I was swelling and going backwards.
Time to face the music. She said she would call Dr. Nielson and maybe he could turn the baby. She explained he would have to put his hand around the babies head to try and turn him. My thought, "a man is going to put his man sized hand inside me and turn my already stubborn son." ow. I asked my midwife if he couldn't do it what my options would be. She said a c-section. She didn't tell me the 'we can wait and see what happens' option but I knew I could make that decision. I wasn't going to let them blindly roll me into a c-sec. It was my choice. So, it was going to hurt like hell for him to TRY and turn him and pretty much if that didn't work I could opt for a c-section.
The contractions were becoming incredibly unbearable. My body was trying to bring down my baby but because he was somehow stuck and I was swelling it just got increasingly more painful. Not seeing the point in continuing on like I was I asked for an epidural. She checked me again, 5 cm. I decided either way my body wasn't going to unswell. If the Doc couldn't do it I would have a c-section. So I asked for an epidural.
I had run my race. I had tried my hardest. I had labored all the way there only to find out my son was not wanting to come out that way. I cried. My mom was incredibly supportive of me. I had wanted to make her proud. I wanted to be just like her. But it was out of my hands. She knew this and cried with me. She knew how badly I wanted this. I am so grateful for her being there and struggling with me. I know she hated to see me suffering at the end.
My midwife came back and had relayed everything to the OB and because I had swollen so much that he wouldn't be able to fit his hand in to turn him. We opted for a c-sec.
My husband gave me a blessing and we knew everything was going to turn out okay.
Throughout this time I still shook uncontrollably. When the anesthsiologist came in I asked if the epidural would stop the shaking? He said no and that it would probably make it worse. He gave me an epidural which helped with the pain but there was still a uncomfortable pressure with each contraction. He was right I shook even more violently. About an hour later he came in to give me a spinal block for the surgery. I asked if this would stop the shaking he gave me the same answer.
I hugged and kissed my mom goodbye as they wheeled me away into the O.R. I looked like I was having seizures according to my husband. I was shaking so badly I could barley talk. I was so tired. On top of that I felt nauseated. I had seen countless c-sections on dogs and for some reason having it done on myself made me feel ill.
My anesthesiologist was a life savor though! Rubbing alcohol! Made me feel so much better with the nausea. I wish I could have thanked him for being so nice and talking to me while I waited for my husband to join me.
When Josh finally did join me, he held my hand and soothed me and comforted me. I never knew a better man than that one that sat next to me in surgery. At that moment I prayed my son would be exactly like his father. In those moments together before our son was born I felt more in love with him than I had the ever before. We were partners through the whole thing and there is nothing more reassuring than having my best friend and husband beside me the whole time.
It was a weird feeling the tugging and pulling sensation throughout the surgery. I hated it. I hated being there. The only consoling thing besides my husband was I was going to see my son in a matter of moments!
And then he cried! I heard him cry then I cried then my husband cried! He cried before they had even pulled him out of the womb!
8:30 a.m Wyatt Newton McReavy was born! A healthy seven pounder! What relief! Josh was able to watch them clean him up and was able to hold him as they stitched me up.
I was wheeled into the recovery room and as soon as I made sure I wasn't going to give him shaken baby syndrome with my uncontrollable shaking I held him and nursed him. Priceless. It was all worth it.
My O.B informed me I had done all three in one labor! Meaning I labored naturally, experienced and epidural and had a c-section. I guess I should feel accomplished. =)
After all was said and done. I still felt disappointed. I ask myself "what if this or what if that." But this morning I sat staring at my perfect, healthy baby thinking over all the events that happened I remembered that dream. I remembered that dream that the Lord gave me, the inspiration to be ready for a c-section. The tools to know to have a c-section or not. I made the decision to have a c-section because I was prepared to make that choice. Maybe if I had tried all those "what if's" it would have turned out differently. Maybe it would have turned out the way I had originally wanted it to or maybe it would have turned into and emergency c-section causing even more traumatic results. All I know is I am grateful so incredibly grateful to my Heavenly Father for communicating with me and inspiring me. He knew. He saw the "what if's" and he knew how to help me make the right decision.
So now I bare a scar across my lower abdomen. I am proud of that scar! What a story behind it! I don't regret anything about that experience. I had a wonderful support system of my husband who was the best coach/doula I could have ever asked for! He was my rock and support through it all and continues to be so! He was compassionate and sensitive to my every need. My mom! My hero! My mother who loved and supported me! Words cannot express my love and admiration for her. I feel there were moments in that room that only she and I could understand.
Will I try to have a natural child birth again? My first initial response is "Heck Yes I'll try again!" But then again maybe I'll council with my Heavenly Father before I make a final decision.
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